What is your biggest fear? Realistic fear? A day to day fear? I never thought that this would be a fear of mine. I fear that one day something will happen to me and I'd have to be rushed OUT of the country to get proper treatment. I never really had this fear untill recently.

How did it start? Well it didn't exactly start here.

My brother is currently in China for work. Living abroad for sometime, he has realized that the best way to truly get a feel of the country you need to play basketball pick up games. Yea it seems kinda strange, but it works. He's made so many friends. Being Chinese, Japanese,Italian, Saudi, Bahrani, Kuwaiti, Emirati's, Columbian,Americans, etc.

One night at a pickup game, he fell on his knee. He tore his ACL. Its incredibly painful and if not performed properly can be quite dangerous. He calls me, asking to find the best hospital in the UAE so he can do surgery on his knee. I look into it, asking family friends who are doctors and asking my Emiraity friends.

Their first response: NEVER DO SUCH A SERIOUS SURGERY IN THE UAE.
Second response: Whenever we need proper treatment we leave the UAE.

I'm sure you can feel my shock. Come again? Don't do it here? But you would think they would have the facilities, I mean come on this is UAE.

So now we have to find a really good international hospital. My brother can't travel long distances because of his knee. My friends tell me about this awesome hospital in Thailand. They said that they have gone there before and its certainly the best.
Thailand? Are you sure?

wow. Thailand.

I tell my brother about this hospital. To my suprise, he's actually heard of it. He saw a documentary on it, on 60 Minutes. He even said my sister recommended it to him. She said that its noted as one of the best international hospitals. (My sister works in hospital mangement).

Thailand it is.

I'm just incredibly disappointed that there are no such facilities here. I mean they seem to be avid in building the tallest skyscrappers in the world, the biggest malls in the world, and the best hotels but completly neglect what is actually important.

I can only hope that one day, when I actually need proper healthcare treatment, i won't have to fly to Thailand for it.

I don't know if many people do this, but I do this every day. I skim the titles of all the articles that are posted on google news.

I saw this title, and it struck an intrest right away. Haha. I mean if you saw the same title, you'd click on it too.

It's true, dancing does lead to sex

By Alok Jha
in London
December 22, 2005

SCIENTISTS have confirmed what fans of John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever have known all along: men with the best dance moves have the most sex appeal.

The finding lends support to the idea that dancing is a way to show off high quality genes and good health - both indicators of a top quality mate.

Charles Darwin was the first to suggest that dance was a courtship signal in animals, but there had been no studies of the relation of dance and genetic or physical quality in humans until now.

In a study published yesterday in the journal Nature, William Brown, of Rutgers University in New Jersey, looked at how dancing ability correlated with a person's body symmetry, a typical measure of the quality of a mate in evolutionary biology.

Across a wide range of species, less-symmetric bodies are associated with increased disease and poor reproductivity.

Professor Brown recorded 183 Jamaicans strutting their stuff and then presented the results to 155 peers for evaluation on a dance rating scale.

The body symmetry of the participants was assessed by matching their elbows, wrists, knees, ankles, feet, ears and third, fourth and fifth fingers.

Professor Brown found that symmetrical men were evaluated as significantly better dancers than asymmetric ones. Likewise, men preferred the dances of symmetrical women, although this effect was not as marked, suggesting women are more choosy in selecting mates.

However, the researchers stopped short of saying why symmetry was so crucial, and said more study was necessary.

"Attractive dances may be more difficult to perform, more rhythmic, more energetic, more energy-efficient or any combination of these factors," they write.

"Does dance ability correlate with reproductive success? We plan to address this question with long-term data from the same population."

(end of article.)

So I ask myself these days, Is it better to dance in front of women or Men?
hahah.

O Marvel!
a garden amidst the flames.
My heart has become capable of every form:
it is a pasture for gazelles
and a convent for Christian monks,
and a temple for idols
and the pilgrim's Kaa'ba,
and the tables of the Torah
and the book of the Quran.
I follow the religion of Love:
whatever way
Love's camels take,
that is my religion and my faith.
-Muhammed Ibn 'Ali Ibn 'Arabi

I should add this:

Mystic, philosopher, poet, sage,
Muhammad Ibn 'Arabi is one of the world's great spiritual teachers.
Known as Muhyiddin (the Revivifier of Religion)
and the Shaykh al-Akbar (the Greatest Master),
he was born in 1165 AD
into the Moorish culture of Andalusian Spain,
the center of an extraordinary flourishing and
cross-fertilization of Jewish, Christian and Islamic thought,
through which the major scientific and philosophical works of antiquity
were transmitted to Northern Europe. Ibn 'Arabi's spiritual attainments
were evident from an early age, and he was renowned for his great visionary
capacity as well as being a superlative teacher. He travelled extensively in the
Islamic world and died in Damascus in 1240 AD.

He shocked the world with his thoughts and theories.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I look at the young muslim ummah in horror. I get this feeling every once in a while. I stop and look around and realize the piteous sight in front of me.
Is this really true? Am i seeing clearly?? How is it that the older generation, the 25+ have turned out ok, yet the younger generation is so corrupt? Is this progressive islam? If it is, by god, it should be stopped.

I'm in a dilema, do i ignore it and move on, and allow it to be a norm of society, where it becomes socially acceptable or do i speak out? Speaking out, these days its like talking to a mindless heap of garabage. A body mass but with no content inside. They grow up with superficial, materialistic ideals to void in the gaps that seem to be missing. They find comfort in improving themselves instead of accepting god's creation, or yet destroying god's creation. God made you wholesome and good, yet you are willing to throw it all away. For what? popularity? fitting in? looking cool?

sad. sad. sad. sad. pathetic.

Its all in your head. The shaytan is feeding it to you, and you are readily accepting the bullshit. the illusion.

the hypocriosy.

the pht muhammad(pbuh) once said ; 'choose your friends wisely, because you become your friends'

in a more crude way of saying this : you sleep with dogs, you get up with fleas.

what to do? Do we go hard on our kids? Do we put the fear of god into them? Or do we become moderate parents who let our kids make the choices for them. Yea that seems right, but that only works if you teach your children the right path, and to make them understand, you aren't living life for the dunya's sake, bas lal akhara.
There is an afterlife, and you will be judge.

tread carefully, for you are being WATCHED.

I recently finished this book that many people have recommended to me. A few people were in favor of it, and a few people were against it. So I began reading the book unsure of the result.

I love The Alchemist !!!

I highly recommend this book. If anybody ever asks me about a must read book, this is it!
I completely and truly fell in love with this book. I was lent this book, but i'mgoing to go out and buy it. This is a book that must be in everyone's library. I have already began spreading the word. I told my dad, my sister, my brothers and brother in law about it.

The book claims that it changes people's lives, but it didn't necessarily change mine. It showed me another way of looking at things. In how, God is everywhere but you just have to open your eyes and see. He leaves you signs that leads you to your destiny. Ever person has a purpose in life and its up to you to fulfill it. One word comes to mind.

Maktoub!

Phone wars!


In this day and age, its so hard to choose the right cell phone (mobile). I mean first off you have so many brands to choose from. Once you pick the brand, there are gazillions models. How do you know whats right for you? Akhhhh what a headache. I mean i just spent the last 2 hours mobile shopping. After much consideration ( i asked everybody i knew basically) i picked a phone.


So pray tell

what brand is the best? (sorry for the lame post)

Stop BITCHING and Do Something!

I need to rant. I'm soo irritated, I just want to bitch slap somebody.

It's the weekend, and you know what that means. It's the time of the week were you sit and be with family. And what do people do when they are with family? They bitch. They bitch and bitch and bitch about god knows what. Arghhh. Somebody shoot me. I am sick, sick, sick and tired of this. I had to put an end to this bitching.
I spoke.
I never speak.
I'm usually looking at my watch, waiting for the time to go by so we can leave.
I sometimes run off to where the men are sitting and join their heated discussions.

But this time it was different, everybody was sitting together.
I cleared my throat and began speaking. All eyes on me. Oh look she has something to say.

" You are typical arabs. You are all talk and NO action! If you aren't happy about what the women on LBC are wearing or how nasty the music videos have become, THEN DON'T WATCH IT! Block the station. You know by watching these channels, you are supporting them and they are getting paid. They are getting paid big time! Muslic Plus makes 100,000 dhms per month just on SMS, so imagine how much they make from you or your children tuning in on their stupid channel. Yes, you can block these stations. When LBC or whatever station notices that many people have blocked these channels they will have to re-evaluate their image. They want VIEWERS. Flesh SELLS and you are the CONSUMERS. It's in your hands. So if you aren't happy about what your children are watching then do something about it and stop BITCHING. "

As you have noticed, I have a passion for books. My father and mother set the example for us growing up. They nutured this notion that acquiring knowledge is a form of worship. It is our duty to learn as much as we possibly could, and still be humble about it. Never act pig headed, superior or arrogant from the knowledge that you have acquired! Why do you think doctors think they are so great?! lmao. I'm kidding.

The best part about reading a new book is discussing what you've read. I love the heated debates and discussions!! Tempers flying and eyes bulging out from disbelief. People trying to force their opinions on you and you hold firm to your opinion! Such an insane and chatoic atmosphere, yet I love it!

So today, I went to the sharjah world book fair. Honestly, I expected something more. It was kinda pathetic. I could barely find anything :/ My dad found a ton of intresting books in arabic, but I was looking for some unique and intresting books in english. I should have been grateful they at least had a few books in ENGLISH. The only books I could find were the classics and Daniel Steel. Haha Daniel Steel is NOT A CLASSIC and never will be !!!
Of course I could not leave without buying anything. I decided that I will start building up my own library instead of adding to the library at home. I found a booth selling the classics in leather bound hard covers. The best thing about the Middle East is that you are allowed to haggle (Not in malls of course). You won't believe how low i got him to give me the books.
bwhahaha. Im so excited!

Here are the books i picked:

• The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli (I loved this book when I first read it,

pure evil! muhahahah)

• A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens ( In history, I loved reading about

the french revolution, purely

chaotic)

• Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen ( This is one of my favorite books of all

time! I've bought soo many copies of

this book. From reading the book so

often it has torn. Thats why i've

decided to get it in hardcover.)

• The Odyssey by Homer (Mythology is always intresting)

• A Little Princess by Frances H. Burnett (The sweetest book

ever written)

In conclusion to my ramblings about books, go out and support the mediocore sharjah world book fair.

Have you ever had that feeling that you have no idea what is going on in your life?
I mean one moment I’m so sure about what I want to do with my future, and I just can’t wait till I graduate so I can just begin my life. The next moment I’m doubting myself. Should I really go with this?
Is this the right decision?
I still have time to go back to my previous major.
Should I take this unpredictable leap?
Should I take the road less ventured?
I wish I could know how my life will turn out 10 years from now, so I can stop driving myself crazy. People tell me to pray Salat Estakha’ara. I did. I got some signs, and a few dreams, but they didn’t make much sense. When I’m here in the UAE, I know exactly what I want to do, but what worries me is when the time comes and I have to leave.
What then?
What shall I do?
Allahu 3alam what is in store for me!

QUICK READING LIST

• I recently finished reading Memoirs of a Geisha ( I loved the book and I can't wait till the movie comes out)

• I just finished Cane River (A must read!!)

• I am currently reading In the Name of Identity (I can't put it down)

• (On the side i'm reading) A Bibliography of Scholars in Medieval Islam

• Next up is The Alchemist (What exactly does Alchemist mean?)

• Then I will get around to read I Know This Much Is True (eventually)

Got any other suggestions?

If anyone has read any of the following books leave a comment of what you thought of it.

I hope I get as much reading done before the finals frenzy begins :/

How can I express who I am? Do you know how hard that it is for me? For the past 20+ years, I’ve been torn between 2 vast cultures and identities.

When people first meet me, they inquiry where I’m from…my speech falters because I know whatever my answer is I will offend them in someway. I will also get a 5 minute speech on how I should be proud because I’m from such and such country. Who said I’m not? I’m proud of both and ashamed of both. I am not one without the other. This is who I am. It’s not half of this and half of that. I’m not unique, there are millions of people with the same dilemma. We search deep inside ourselves, trying to define who we really are. It is so important to categorize ourselves into little groups and titles. It gives us a sense of belonging. The problem is that I feel that I don’t belong in either group.

Going to university is really all about finding oneself than actual studying. This is the stage I’m at now. I’m trying to define myself. I’m revising the moldings that I have gone through, Nature vs. Nurture.

I’m bringing this up because the other day BUJ recommended this book by Amin Maalouf. So I looked it up and read some of the introduction. It struck something inside me. I felt exactly the same way.


Identity can’t be compartmentalized. You can’t divide it up into halves or thirds or any other separate segments. I haven’t got several identities: I’ve got just one, made up of many components in a mixture that is unique to me, just as other people’s identity is unique to them as individuals.
-Amin Maalouf



I have to find this book and get it!

If only, when people ask me where I’m from I wish I could just say that I’M MUSLIM.
I mean that’s a huge chunk of my identity and who I am.